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How to grow a bindweed patch. . .

June 19, 2007

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  1. In late March, find a nice sunny spot in your yard that you think would be good for a vegetable garden. This area should contain just a few scattered bindweed plants.
  2. Rent a rototiller – and till the soil – we did a patch 10 feet by 20 feet wide. Till diagonally and horizontally getting as deep as you can.
  3. Pull out big clumps of grass.
  4. Invite a friend and her kids to come and share with you in your gardening experience – and share in the “bounty.”
  5. Cover the tilled area with plastic so that any grasses or other plants die – until it’s time for planting in your area (we covered for 6 weeks).
  6. Upon removal of black plastic, you will see white shoots everywhere that kind of look like bean sprouts. These are your babies. Use a flat shovel to cut these shoots out of your plot. Spend at least 5 hours pulling out and throwing away all the shoots you can find. There will be little tiny white pieces of shoots everywhere – each of these will grow into a plant!
  7. Next, buy organic compost – Miracle Grow is about the most expensive you can find. Buy 12 bags – enough to put two bags in each of 6 raised beds you will create for planting.

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  8. Over the next week, you will see lots of little baby buds coming up all over your six mounds. You may want to pull these – spending about an hour a day to do so. This will not impede their growth.
  9. Water as you prepare to plant seedlings. Water water water. Plant onions, carrots, lettuces, snap peas, and water water water.
  10. Every few days go out and pull some more little baby bindweed buds.
  11. Go away for the weekend.
  12. When you return, you will have a gorgeous luscious blanket of bindweed. When allowed to thrive, little white morning glory flowers will appear which means that the bindweed has gone to seed and your plants will multiply exponentially.

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Things to remember about bindweed. . .

  1. Needs no water
  2. Needs no sun
  3. Root systems can grow 20 to 50 feet into the ground
  4. Most weed killers will not kill it

There is however a bindweed mite. . .

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5 comments

  1. It’s awful stuff, isn’t it. I don’t understand why there aren’t any desirable plants that grow the way that stuff does.


  2. Seriously — this post made me want to cry. I’m so sorry sis!! 😦


  3. Jodi…though I am sad about the bindweed…I thought your post was incredibly clever. Thanks for keeping your sense of humor despite an awful situation!


  4. Marguerite was my dear friend whom I invited to come and share in a gardening experience. She’s the best! Maybe next year!!!


  5. Oh my gosh, I have these in my rose bushes. I wasn’t sure what they were, though..but now I’m afraid, very afraid. !!!



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